Run Darling
by Isolith
Summary: Doctor’s journeys with River Song. The end, the beginning and the murky middle.
1. Chapter 1: Lost and Found

**Run darling, run**

Characters: The Doctor. River Song.

Summary: The Doctor's journeys with River Song. The end, the beginning and the murky middle.

* * *

**Run darling, run**

**Chapter 1: Lost and Found**

_That feeling that comes with travelling, with adventure, with friendship, with the thrill of being alive and sharing both the big and small moments in life with someone; that feeling is ever present when you are travelling with the doctor. Sometimes it pulsates strongly and lightly, other times it slips your mind and leaves the path clear to more dark thoughts. Sometimes he is utterly cheerful and over adventurous, charming and witty. At other times he is darker, emanating silence, emptiness and despair. Not to forget the times when his eyes glaze with anger, his mouth quivering with repressed rage. His is the doctor, my doctor._

_- Diary of River Song_

She was lost. At first she had occupied the library of my mind, filling my thoughts with unanswered questions and confusions. Her voice seemed to reverberate inside my head, a terrible echo of loss. How could I grieve when I did not even know her? Of course I _knew_ her, I had just not met her yet, but nonetheless it was too perplexing to wrap my otherwise seemingly rational mind around. I adore puzzles, just not the ones pulsating with death and loss.

She was lost to me – like so many others. The others I had known, met and travelled with in a quite linear voyage of mystery, joy and sorrow. She on the other hand was a great big puzzle with all the pieces gone up in flames, scattered ashes flying in directions where time was out of joint. Indisputably lost and I felt slightly guilty. But by and large I felt sad.

She was lost. The first time we met was to be her death. She was dead and yet lost in cyber space. Lost infinitely. At first the exhilaration of having saved her had overridden any other feelings, and I had savoured the good feeling that comes with an almost happy ending. It did not last long. All this time knowledgeable about her death in the Library and all I could come up with was to save an imprint of her consciousness into the hard drive of a super computer. I felt inadequately and solemn, and frankly became rather disappointed with myself as time passed.

I had lost her, and was yet still going to find her. I was going to meet her with the knowledge that she was lost, was going to die as I watched.

As time passed, and other devastating events and disasters roamed through my life, she became but a slumbering ember in a dark almost repressed corner of my brain. Sometimes it was as if I had never met her, and the memory became an imprint of an almost forgotten dream which lingers around beneath the surface, but too lost to retrieve. I moved on to other adventures, new companions and different timelines.

Forgotten, but not lost. Lost, but not forgotten. She was somewhere, alive and well, breathing, not lost. And she was somewhere in my memory, in my mind. Somewhere dark, slumbering and momentarily lost in my consciousness.

I was strolling quite happily through old streets, one of my detours to earth in its early age, and I was alone, but happy for the moment. It was an old, small town, on the outskirts of a big city in an industrial growth. The town itself was a peculiar balance between the tranquillity of a silent rolling landscape and the bustling business of a working city. Unfortunately it also had the smell of the city. A raw rank tang that seemed to hang in the air suspended, coming in waves of nausea from the unfinished sewage canals running along the crisscrossing streets of the little town. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing here in this town, in this century, but I was not one to complain. Stranger things had happened, and the Tardis had put me in much stranger places. The puzzle of it all was exhilarating, and so I was happily strolling the rancid streets. Not really caring that it all stank as though something recently had died, and been left to rot in the sun.

I could feel the beginning of an adventure, like an exciting itch in my stomach and I gladly embraced the feeling, taking in the warmth of the thrill that sent tendrils of rapture pulsating through my body and mind. Time was a wondrous thing, and I had all the time in the universe at my disposal – what wondrous adventures weren't waiting for me.

I took a turn down a small narrow side street, cramped with shops and hawkers crying out their fares in loud rough voices. I passed turning down attempts from an eagle-eyed vendor trying to trade me everything from a bundle of carrots to his old mother, and just as I was about to round another corner and walk on to yet another side street lined with shops, I stopped and curiously looked at a small antiquarian bookshop. The windows were slightly tinted from filth and the lack of light from the inside made the place look rather murky and sinister. I smiled secretly and entered.

As I opened the door a bell tinkled somewhere in the back of the shop and consequently alerted the owner to customers. The shop was a mess, an awful beautiful mess. The windows and bookcases were piled with ancient yellowish papered books, volumes lay strewn across the floor in a haphazardly maze and in the back of the shop a counter stood out like an altar in a church. A scruffy-looking old guy greeted me with a grunt and mumbled that there were books out the back as well. I thanked him and looked around since he wasn't much for talking. He eyed me suspiciously as I walked around the bookshop looking at old books. I gave him a smile and his frown only seemed to deepen. The shop was a little gold nugget in itself, if one was interested in these kinds of things. Any literature geek would be in frenzy over the many first editions that were among the many old and dusty books.

I was not really paying that much attention, just walking around aimlessly, now and then taking out a book or two. I turned a few pages, and not catching anything of interest put the books back again. I laughed as I walked through a section of books which were apparently autobiographies. Just as I was nearing the back of the room, and nearing the limit of my curiosity, I found myself just opposite a small desk whereupon was dumped a load of notebooks.

My eyes fell on a blue diary, and I took a frightened step backwards. She had found me. Her blue Tardis-formed diary lay in front of my eyes, quite innocently on a desk in an antiquarian bookshop in the outskirts of London in the bloody nineteenth century. I was stunned, incapable of taking my eyes of the diary and simultaneously afraid that it would disappear before my eyes.

"_Ah.__Professor River Song, archaeologist", her voice echoed in my mind, the image of her smirking and extending her hand._

It was not possible! It was beyond the likelihood of reason and logic. It was something which screamed of mere happenstance, and yet what a marvellous and somehow startling coincidence it was. I had repressed her, lost her to my own device of self-protecting, and here in a murky shop she had found me. I stretched out my right hand, gently reaching out and tenderly stroking the cover.

_I'm sorry. I'm really very sorry._

My fingers trembled and I took a deep intake of breath. Lost and found at the same time. I slowly opened and flipped through the diary anticipating scribbling but the pages were blank. As I realised there was nothing in it, I slowly let out the breath I did not know I had been holding. It was a blank diary, an empty insignificant bundle of pages. Nothing of interest.

Still I could not let go and when I left the antiquarian it was with the diary solidly in my pockets and a frown upon my face.

_I'm_not_anybody,_her voiced teased me repeatedly as I sourly walked back to my Tardis, tired already of the nineteenth century and this smelly place. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of red sauntering down a dark alley. My hearts leapt and without further contemplation I quickly spun around and followed. This is ridiculous I kept chanting silently as I half-ran after a top of curly red hair. It wasn't her, I was sure but nonetheless I couldn't stop my burning curiosity or stop myself from running after the woman. She turned around a corner and I momentarily lost sight of her. I could feel my racing hearts and the thumbing of blood rushing through my veins. Hope mixed bittersweet with anguish as I turned the same corner, half-expecting her to be waiting for me with a mischievous smile and a raised eyebrow.

I rounded the corner and stopped abruptly hardly able to breathe.

There she was, talking with a hawk-nosed vendor who gesticulated wildly with his arms. Only it wasn't _her_. It wasn't River.

I despairingly back traipsed my steps all the while berating my stupidity. I walked back, feeling the oppressive wall of loneliness and gloom descend, my mind submerged in melancholy.

* * *

The diary stayed in my pockets for a while. I dared not peek at it again, and as I angrily told myself; there was nothing in it. But it was as if I could feel its mere presence, as if the diary itself was reaching out, trying to get my attention. I ignored it quite stubbornly, pretending it was not really weighing heavily on my mind.

However, sometimes I would find myself unconsciously fingering the diary, stroking its cover in a soothing elliptic rhythm, my mind empty and desolate but for a small spark of memory of her. The memory of her always came most unexpectedly, unpredictably and I was left with a crooked smile, odd melancholy and strange anticipation.

Sometimes I waited eagerly for her and other times I searched franticly for her. In between I carried on with my life such as it is and has been for a very long time. In the end everything merged together and I was enveloped in a coarse and jagged blanket of the day to day motions, trying to balance my conflicting feelings, live my life like always and still think of her.

_You have all that to come. You watch us run._

I would find her, or she would find me. In either case I knew she was waiting somewhere for me, like an undiscovered planet waiting for the first pioneers. She was my fixed point. Fixed and unwavering. Still patience was a drag, when I just wanted her by my side. I wanted to run with her, I wanted to travel with her; I wanted to get to know her.

I met her again quite unexpectedly. It was quite the accidental second meeting, no psychic paper involved. I was happily bouncing around the control panel in the Tardis, pressing buttons and steering through time when the Tardis bolted and sent me flying headfirst through the air, landing with a crash next to the doors. The Tardis had picked up a red alert signal and apparently decided it was worth looking into. I wondered what was outside the Tardis, what far distant galaxy I was going to discover, what peculiar age I was going to explore. I grinned and quickly got to my feet. And it was with adventure on my mind I opened the doors of the Tardis and took a step out. I did not manage to get a view of my surroundings before a large sharp shovel was shoved in my face.

"_Why hello Pretty Boy! Took you long enough?_"


	2. Chapter 2: Meeting you

**Run darling, run**

**Chapter 2: Meeting You**

_Travelling with the doctor is something beyond mere understanding. He is an enigma himself, bending time around his fingertips as he travels through worlds and timelines, curiously exploring the farthest reaches of our universe. Travelling with him is bittersweet rapture, joy mixed heavily with sorrow and melancholy. So many worlds, so many people, so much life and yet such an intense emptiness._

_- Diary of River Song_

And here I was being threatened with a dirty shovel by the very red-haired woman I had been looking for. I could hardly contain my glee which must have showed on my face for a young-faced River pushed the edge of the shovel against my throat, her eyes narrowing and her shoulders squared.

"_Wha-at_," I managed to stammer, my incredibility and surprise somehow making its way above the surface and tinting my voice with a befuddled flavour. I slowly took notice of our surroundings; the room I was standing in was miniscule, the ceiling cramped elliptic over my head and the walls made of what appeared to be red stone. The Tardis stood in the middle of the room, just barely able to fit.

River pushed the shovel against my chest and responded with "_I'm stuck and it's your entire fault,_" as she was eyeing me with a frown and lips that seemed to be on the verge of pouting.

I grinned most innocently, gently giving her shovel a little pet and I started to open my mouth to ask her to clarify the situation; all rational, well-behaved actions from my side. River however spun around and marched over to what appeared to be a large chameleon-coloured backpack. She hoisted it upon her shoulder and strode back, her eyes pinning me to the spot. I was stupefied beyond reason. I didn't know what to do with myself, what to do with my hands or with my legs for that sake. All I could do was follow her with my eyes. Amazingly I was not standing with my mouth agape. At least I had some dignity left, I sourly thought.

"_River,_" I started again but didn't get any father.

"_Stop! Don't you dare open your big blubbering mouth. River! River, river! River, that's what you said last time,_" River interrupted, her voiced tinged with very thinly veiled anger and as she continued her rant, her voice changed to a sarcastic tone mimicking my own, "_River, wouldn't it be fantastic, utterly fantastic, to visit the lost world of Thalicortaxeau, wouldn't it be astounding River. Why River, I'll even suggest you bring that dusty shovel of yours with you. How about it River, it'll be fun. It'll be heaps of fun River,_"she took a deep breath, her eyes boring into mine. She pointed her finger at my chest and tapped me with it;_"It was not_FUN_, doctor. Not even the slightest of fun._"

"_W-what,_" again my vocabulary had forsaken me in times of need. She was talking too fast and I couldn't understand a single thing. I had done what! It all seemed incomprehensible. I tried to piece together the information and form a sentence, any kind of sentence would help. But my mouth stayed closed.

"_Oh you know what I'm talking about! You practically sent me running to bloody Thalicotaxeau and what do I find huh!_" she was staring defiantly at me, her blue eyes intense and close.

"_Errr,_" I responded while I mentally clubbed myself for my sudden lack of intellect.

"_The bloody place in quarantine, overrun by bloody time agents wondering why I would trespass a lost world and how I knew the assimilation code to dissolve the security shield around the planet._"

"_Oh_"

"_Yes, your fault mister! I've spent the last bloody month in quarantine, being questioned and stuck in this bloody stone-cell and you know what!_"

"_Errm_ _no-_"

"_It's the last time I take tips from you and your time-lordy-I-know-where-you-should-go-River!_"

She stopped talking and the sudden silence brought about what I had been looking for; available space for me to fill with words. Finally I could think again. I could speak. Unfortunately it resulted in obnoxious rambling.

"_Right. Weeell, you see River. May I just say a tiny, tiny little, inconsequential thing. It's really just tiny, not really that big. More like a picto-thing, huh. Theoretically it's small. Well, when I say small, you know, I mean big,_" I rambled, astonished she hadn't interrupted me yet and continued with her tirade.

"_What,_" she said, her hands resting at her waist as she calmly observed me with what appeared to be a knowing smile lurking. I continued nonetheless.

"_The thing is, I do apologise for the bad vacation advice, but it is really not my fault per se. I mean, of course it is my fault; well theoretically it will be my fault. But since I haven't actually in my own timeline given you any bad vacation advice yet, it's not my fault yet. You see. But then again if I hadn't given the bad vacation advice, you wouldn't be here, and I wouldn't be here, and we wouldn't meet now, so in actuality I'm apologising for the good vacation advice. If you get my drift,"_I rambled on, flinging my arms out and continued,_"by the way, can I just say, what a great honor it is, having the pleasure of meeting that shovel of yours for the first time. I'll have to remember to wear my shovel-repellent next time around."_

"_Oh,"_ she replied to my whole ramble, her whole stance changing as she backed a little away from me, her blue orbs eyeing me again this time with a little more scrutiny.

"_Yes,_" I looked around the interior, "_and now for something completely different – I have always wanted to say that,"_ I gave her a grin_,"This stone cell does it have any anti-escape-grid thingys on it?_"

"_I'm not sure_"

"_Well come on, let's find out,_" I said as I took hold of her hand and pulled her inside the Tardis.

* * *

"_Doctor?_"

"_Mmm,_" I replied while dashing madly around the Tardis, happily pushing buttons and banging things.

"_I'm sorry I yelled at you,_" River told me timidly as she was standing off to the side, her eyes looking at my shoulder.

I laughed," _Oh that was you yelling. Felt more like the roaring of a crumpling mountain_, _or wait – felt more like rumbling thunder._"

"_Yeah. Well I haven't had coffee in a month – tends to turn me into a lunatic,_" she retorted, her lips quivering with the slightest of smiles.

"_No coffee, now that's a crime. I'll report it immediately to the Shadow Proclamation, file it under convention 68,907, subsection 18239, article 1087xb, which obviously states that the presence of coffee must be a universal constant under the circumstance of questioning trespassers._"

"_Oh do shut up!_" she told me with suppressed amusement.

"_Aye aye ma'am_"

She rolled her eyes, bracing herself against the panel of the Tardis as we lurched around.

I laughed again, "_Wonderful, here we go. Goodbye Thalicotaxeau and hello -_"

"_- Infinity_" River said along with me, grinning at me shrewdly. I gawked at her for second, feeling for but a mere flick of time as a stranger. It passed, instantaneously, and I felt my lips quivering with suppressed joy. It was so unexpectedly wonderful. Here she was, obviously young, and I was meeting her for the first time – well the first time that she knew of. I felt the thrill of a new start, of new adventures. I had found her, sort of, and now we could run. I smiled secretly and extended my hand with a genuine grin:

"_Nice to meet you, River Song. Brilliant Time Lord at your disposal,_"

She looked at me in a funny way, her eyes measuring me with a calculated glint. She mumbled something which sounded close to '_bloody time-travel_' and then finally grasped my hand as she looked into my eyes;

"_Nice seeing you again Time Boy_"

We stood rooted to the spot, staring at each other and both contemplating the puzzlement of time. I smiled at first, but found myself succumbing to laughter in the end. River looked at me, her mouth forming a big elliptic circle as she joined me. Such a beautiful laugh. I couldn't really believe it all; it seemed so unreal, so like a dream. If it was, it was a dream which I was afraid to wake up from. Here we were, inside the Tardis, laughing like it was the most natural thing to do.

We both stopped laughing and I could hear a small sigh escape Rivers lips as she shrugged. I sat down on the floor and gestured for her to take a seat next to me.

"_Might as well be comfortable, don't you think,_" I told her as she too sat down in a sailor position, her hands pulling her wiry red hair back.

"_So,_" I started but true to herself River interrupted, her young face glowing,

"_I cannot believe this is the first time you meet me._"

"_Well – what. How do reckon that?_"

She laughed, "_I always carry a shovel with me. Since you said it's the first you've seen my shovel I thereby conclude, it's your first time… seeing me,_" she snickered mischievously and winked at me.

I scratched my head, my grin askew; "_Well… yeah it is. Sorta_"

"_Sorta?_" she looked puzzled.

"_I have sorta met you before – but it hasn't happened yet in your timeline,_" I explained. It would be easier this way – no need to tell her about when or where. My mind turned dark, shadows looming as the memory of The Library set in. I forgot to breathe for a second, feeling the air sucked out of my lungs. I blinked and there she sat in front of me, blue eyes oblivious and so young.

_Look at you. You are young._Her distant voice reverberated inside my mind. I closed my eyes and whisked it away. I wouldn't go there – no point looking in the past. No point looking to the future. Only now. I opened my eyes to find River with sceptical look about her.

"_I don't travel nowhere without my shovel!_?" she exclaimed, like proclaiming a universal constant.

"_Spoilers_," I replied and was rewarded with a River sticking out her tongue at me and declaring: "_Uh I absolutely hate that word_"

We sat in silence again, glancing at each other. I wondered what she was thinking, she had that contemplative look in her eyes.

"_So where are we going? The Gjen Kaa's in the 45th__century? Or what about Egraktia 38th__century in the galaxy of Tempur, you always promise to take me there_" she gave me a gentle push, her eyes smiling.

"_How about Thalicotaxeau,_" I calmly suggested. Her reaction very nearly caused me my hearing as she shrieked a big '_what_', her eyes narrowing suspiciously. "_You have got to be kidding me,_" she stated in a calm voice.

"_Thalicotaxeau before the time agency, before they lock it down with quarantine and all that other security stuff. Before the time agency even knows there's such a place as Thalicotaxeau! How about it?_"

"_Oh,_" she looked around, pretending to mull it over. Her eyes gave her away, they were full of mirth. She spun around in a jump and assaulted me with a quick embrace as she started dancing around the Tardis, singing: "_We are going to Thalicotaxeau_" over and over.

I laughed and sat the coordinates. A little bang here, a push there and a foot there. And off we go!

* * *

I was utterly and completely exhausted. Meeting companions can do that to you, especially if your lifelines are non-linear and bursting with complicated wibbly, wobbly, timey wimey stuff.

River was exhausted as well; already she had fallen asleep, lying on a thin cot opposite the Tardis and me. I watched the rise and fall of her chest for a long time, trying to contemplate but not really mustering the ability at the moment. Our trip to Thalicotaxeau had accelerated from peaceful and tranquil to sombre and grave and I was left with that familiar sense of emptiness. I could almost choke on it, itching its way up my throat, stinging in my mind. I couldn't really blame her and I did not, but I still felt empty and full of pain.

She had found a cot for me too, and I used it to sit on as I leaned against the Tardis, feeling somewhat comforted by the familiar feel of home.

She was here, tangible, and I could touch her. I could hear her breathing and see the soft glow of her skin. I could feel the heat radiating from her body. She existed. But it felt strange, unreal. I had the vague feeling, that if I closed my eyes for but a second, she would disappear. I had found her, but she was still lost.

I couldn't sleep, unable to go to the land of dreams at the moment. So I just watched River with a tang of something which I could not determine beyond it being bittersweet.


	3. Chapter 3: Running with you

**Run darling, run**

**Chapter 3: Running with you**

_I love running with the doctor. The moment when he will clasp my hand and take off in a mad dash, running from whatever danger we have gotten ourselves in, that is something. The moment he will look at me with a knowing smile, as all the pieces are coming together and the mystery solved, that is amazing. The moment when we will get in the Tardis, another adventure done and dealt with, that very moment when peace and silence descends upon us, that is magic._

_- Diary of River Song_

"_Doctor,_" someone called my name loudly. I stopped walking and looked around trying to figure out where the noise was coming from. All I managed to see was a blur of colours running toward me and something colliding with me in an intense embrace. I stiffened at first and slowly started to relax as I looked upon the sea of red hair. When the hug ended I stepped awkwardly back, surprised and glad to see her again. She looked older. She watched me and stepped back as well.

"_Hello there, red-haired girl_" I said remembering the last time I met River.

"_Whatever, pretty boy. What took you so long, I sent for you weeks ago. The university has gone completely bonkers in that time,_" she exclaimed irritated but counteracted herself as she latched onto my arm and gave me a genuine smile.

"_I've missed you,_" she told me in a frank and sincere voice.

I was dumbfounded for a moment, taken aback by her apparent familiarity with me. It reminded me too much of the Library and brought along bitter memories. She read my face too well, and stepped back a little.

"_Sorry, I just assumed. We should compare timelines first, before I get all mushy on you,_" she laughed and let go of my hand.

"_You do know who I am, right,_" she asked me with a mischievous smile which broke through my stupor.

"_Come here, you. Of course I know who you are,_" I laughed and enveloped her in my arms. I could hear the rumbling of her chest as she laughed into my jacket, "_I just didn't expect you to be here, caught me quite off guard,_" I told her as we both stepped back, "_My very own special personal red-haired stalker – you,_" I spoke with mock seriousness.

After another moment of grinning at each other, River fished up a very by now familiar blue book. It was weird. Here she had the very book, the very book I had in my pockets. In my possession it was blank and empty but hers was full to bursting with writing, not empty anymore. Not lost anymore.

"_So what's the latest exciting adventures you've had with me? What did we do last time?_" she asked in a serious voice, opening the book and started flipping pages. She held the book in an angle so I couldn't see, quite on purpose I think.

"_Let's see, you were stuck in a quarantine slash prison cell, having trespassed time agency territory, and you were hoping someone would come along to take you back home. I naturally came to the rescue,_" I told her with a beam, remembering as the past River had woken up and quite frankly told me, how she had evaded questioning by reciting Shadow Proclamations protocols for hours on end.

"_Ah, the good old days,_" River stated, becoming lost in the past, her eyes looking beyond me and becoming distant. She came out of her reverie and gave me a funny look as she flipped through her journal.

"_But that means, we've only just met! You barely know me, do you? I mean, this is…_" she flipped to the beginning of her book, "_really really the early days,_" her voice shook gently as she took a step back and regarded me with a guarded expression.

"_I know,_" I spoke softly and quickly changed the tone of my voice as I continued in a happier tune, "_But here I am nonetheless, ingenious Time Lord at your service._"

Her facial expression was still blank to me but at the very least her mouth quivered in a miniscule smile at my last statement.

"_Ingenious, ha – you've always been a little self-possessed, haven't you,_" she told me over her shoulder as she turned around and began to walk. I followed her, as we walked through a park – University Park – and towards the little cottages that were strewn all over the campus, accommodating the various students. There weren't many people around, and the few we met hurried along with suspicious looks, their eyebrows knitted together in a wary frown and their eyes narrowed. None of them stopped to talk, they all just hurried past. Some recognised River but nonetheless they hurried away, no greetings. I started to get the very familiar sense of foreboding I usually get when something's terribly wrong, when there's something amiss. The anticipation of adventure. I grinned inwardly and silently followed River who was mumbling and giving the occasional passing students dark scowls.

"_I sent for you the moment things started getting weird; students and teachers going missing and then coming back all strange. I patiently waited two weeks for you, just waited as everything got worse. I tried to do a little snooping, but nothing turned up. It's as if people just disappear out of thin air, no traces, no anything. And approximately two-three days after they have gone missing, they turn up, no memory of the last week,_" she told me in a quiet voice as she walked under a big Chuwal tree, momentarily cloaked in shadows as the tree shaded her from the sun.

"_Sounds mysteriously,_" I commented.

River continued, "_That's not all. If it only was,"_ she sighed, "_At first the only thing different about the missing persons is their amnesia. But after a while they start to change._"

"_Change how_," I asked my inquisitiveness bursting at the seams.

"_I'm not sure. It's as if their whole personality changes. They do not smile, laugh or express any kind of emotion. They mechanically go about their day but it's as if they not really there, you know. As if they are empty, a shell with memories but no emotions._"

"_How - ,_"

River interrupted me almost before I had opened my mouth, and continued in an urgent and scared voice: "_That's not all, doctor. After exhibiting these symptoms for a while they begin to change again, physically._"

I stared at her, my curiosity certainly peaked and the wheels in my brain turning and spinning.

"_And what do they become?_"

"_Something not human,_" River spoke in a whisper so low I had to strain to hear her, which is why I had not seen her stop in front of a small cottage. I nearly collided with her but managed to counteract the collision by quickly sidestepping.

"_We managed to cage one of them, before they all went rabid and went away. It's in here,_" she continued to whisper, "_They might have gone but people are still disappearing and turning up empty._"

"_Shall we go have a look,_" I asked her, not able to contain my curiosity any longer. I knew the situation was grave and possibly dangerous, but I do so love puzzles.

She turned around and grinned at me, "_After you_"

* * *

"_RUN,_" I shouted at her as I looked over my shoulder trying to keep account of the beasts attacking us.

"_Doctor,_" she cried from somewhere on my left and when I looked I stopped dead, trying to keep myself from stopping to breathe as well. River lay on the ground, a small gash on her forehead letting a tiny trail of blood run down her eyebrow. But it was her left leg my eyes connected with, and the deep wound oozing with blood and especially the shadows circling in the sky above, their alien cries echoing darkly in the night. Every second now one of them would definitely swoop down again, and perhaps succeed in killing us off.

I swallowed my initial fright and hurried over to River. I hoisted her up and supported her as we half-ran, half-humbled for cover. I could hear her deep breaths and groans every time her foot came in contact with the ground, could feel her trembling with subdued pain. Every now and then we would stop under a tree, hearing the whoosh of wings as one of the beast was inches away from snatching us. But the cover of the trees kept us momentarily safe. I had no clue why, and for the moment I wasn't keen on finding out how long that would be a fact.

"_Doctor,_" River softly nodded me with an elbow, "_what the devil are we supposed to do?_"

"_Run_"

"_We can't run forever_"

"_Well, maybe not… I do wonder though if they can fly around forever?_"

River groaned.

"_I wonder what they are, what changed these people and why? What do they want?_"

"_Great… we are about to be eaten or clawed to death and you're philosophising about the cute little beasts. You should be wondering about how the heck we get out of this alive!_"

"_You sound a little agitated, shouldn't you be used to this by now_?"

"_What do you mean, used to what?_"

"_Running with me!_"

"_I like you better when you're old,_ "she sighed.

"_Ah – you are spoiling my future,_" I laughed as I grasped her waist and started running again. River humped beside me, her eyes occasionally darting a dark look in my direction, otherwise she kept silent tagging along. I could sense she was pissed, scared and pretty annoyed with me. It was nice for a change that I was being the insufferable one. We ran for such a long time I lost track of time, running from one cover to the next, standing beneath the big Chuwal trees.

!

Chuwal.

Chuwal?

CHUWAL… of course.

"_Of course,_" I stopped and looked above me.

"_What!_"

"_It's the trees. It the damn big trees! They were right in front of me the whole time, stupid, stupid, stupid!_"

River stopped as well, gave me and the trees an awkward look, "_It's the trees? What about the trees?_"

"_It's a Chuwal tree,_" I explained while keeping my eyes on the tree we were standing under.

"_I know! What about it?_"

"_They are alive,_" I told her, still keeping watch of the leaves flowing gently in the breeze. The night was still, the previously cries of the beasts suddenly gone.

"_Alive?_" River came closer to me, her body slightly trembling, "_How alive?_"

"_Alive enough to be abducting people and changing them into flying horrors!_"

"_You are kidding! Trees don't kidnap people and turn them into beasts! That's absurd,_" River cried but edged closer to me, giving the tree we stood under a very hard suspicious look.

"_Not regular, ordinary earth trees don't… But these are Chuwal trees, imported from foreign galaxies,_" I edged closer to her, gripping her shoulders, "_it takes decades for Chuwals to grow into their adult state. It's once they reach adolescence that they start to cause problems._"

"_I guess saplings good, adults bad, huh,_" River joked half-heartedly.

"_Yeah… River?_"

"_Yes, doctor_"

"_When I say run, we run_"

"_Run where_?"

"_Anywhere but where there's trees!_"

"_Okay,_" she whispered close to my ear, her trembling hands gripping my right arm tightly.

We waited; the quiet unnerving and alarming. The night was swathed in a frightening cloak of silence only interrupted by the shallow breathing of River and me. The stillness hung around us, not even the wind blowing through the trees seemed to make a noise. I could see the branches and leaves swinging in the top of the tree we were standing under, but nothing could be heard. The leaves were swishing in the wind silently. They knew where we were and they were listening.

"_RUN!_"

* * *

"_You know, I'll never ever again be comfortable around trees,_" River told me in an accusing voice. I laughed, and laughed harder when her eyes narrowed and her eyes turned dark.

"_You are impossible!_" she gave me a shove, "_after nearly being kidnapped by seriously psycho trees and chased by flying semi-humans, semi beasts and you laugh! Impossible, I say!_"

"_But we saved the day, the danger has passed and all is well again. You can go back to studying without being afraid of turning into a flying beast, isn't that great!_" I winked at her.

"_Yes, super-great!_"

"_Is that sarcasm I detect in your voice_?"

I smiled and she smiled back.

"_So when am I going to see you again?_"

"_Spoilers,_" I replied.

We grinned at each other and stood for a while transfixed, looking out over the campus ground. There was not a tree in sight, the earth uprooted in many places. It looked bare.

* * *

I watched her waving goodbye, her red hair swinging in the slight breeze. Her eyes glinted with the morning sun and her teeth sparkled as she smiled. I waved back at her, unable to contain a smile myself. I was mystified, completely and utterly mystified. But my mood was soaring high, elevated by the mere presence of someone I barely knew. I grinned – life was wonderful!


	4. Chapter 4: Spoilers

**Run darling, run**

**Chapter 4: Spoilers**

_Our meetings are so out of any linear concept of time, that at times it is frustrating, exciting or heart-wrenching. Chronology is not a word in our vocabulary; yesterday, today and tomorrow all merge together when you are with the doctor. Time flows in all directions and it's a both exciting and sad adventure. Either I am the one ahead afraid to say too much, to somehow spoil our future or he's the one with a knowledgeable smirk and sprouting '_spoilers, spoilers_'. Hell, what I wouldn't sometimes give to just for a time to be in synchrony._

_- Diary of River Song_

"_Oh – it's you,_"

"_You don't have to sound so excited_"

I had accidentally knocked on the door to her room. Had accidentally landed on the campus of her University – incidentally it was in the 51st century and she still lived here. And coincidentally I had ransacked through the entire University and grounds before finding her. I felt slightly out of breath from all the running down and up staircases, through long, dark corridors to finally find that she was located underground. A little sonicky-magic and computers really do blabber! – too bad I'd been running around like a headless chicken for half an hour before realising the usefulness of ransacking the University computers. I must be getting old!

I was lonely and could use some company. I wondered why she didn't travel with me, why everything about us had to be so strange and frustrating. I wondered whether I had asked her; if she wanted to come along with me, see new worlds and foreign galaxies, exciting adventures and strange species. Maybe I had asked, maybe she had declined. Maybe that was why I hadn't asked her yet. Confused? – welcome to the wonderful world of a time traveller.

And here she was, and everything wasn't quite as I had imagined. River stood in her door opening, book in one hand and an electro-laser-pencil in her other one. She neither collided with me in a bear-like embrace nor grinned at me. The least I had expected was a nice hello or perhaps a nice greeting with her treasured shovel.

"_So, what do you want?_" she asked and turned around, "_Don't just stand there, come on in,_" she continued when she saw me still standing outside her door.

"_Err, just happened to be in the 51st__century, thought I would look you up,_" I replied rather foolishly, feeling self-conscious as I stepped inside. Why did she make me uncomfortable? I had no clue! And why was I here?

"_Nothing much too 'adventureable' has happened here, at least not that I know of. No dangerous and megalomaniacal aliens, no mad scientist trying to eradicate some form of life to create monsters and really no weird happenings at all,_" she told me as she went further into the room and sat down on a couch.

"_Sounds rather dull,_" I quipped and sat down as well.

We sat for a while none of us speaking. I would look at her but her eyes were focussed on something else, avoiding me. The situation became more and more awkward and uncomfortable, until I was inwardly cursing myself for ever coming. The silence was slowly killing me.

"_So, still studying?_"

"_No, became a professor last summer._"

"_Congratulations,_" I said happily trying to give her a smile. She smiled a little but it did not last long.

"_So, are you doing research?_"

"_Yes_"

"_What kind?_"

"_Going on a dig next week_"

"_Anywhere interesting?_"

"_Trying to uncover a lost civilisation on the shadow moon of Hoxzial_"

I grinned. And she finally looked at me with something other than annoyance.

"_You know something?_" she asked with an undertone of excitement and curiosity.

"_I might,_" I told her airily, trying to keep the laughter at bay, "_Good ol' moon of Hoxie_"

"_You want to come?_" she asked, her tone again monotonous.

"_Maybe,_" I replied, starting to get a little annoyed myself. Again silence dominated the room, but now we sat and stared blankly at each other.

"_Is something wrong?_" I at last asked when I was just about to choke on the atmosphere.

"_Spoilers,_" she told me and leaned back, her eyes avoiding me again.

"_Have I done something?_"

"_Spoilers_!"

"_How do you know, I don't already know why you are upset?_"

"_If you knew, you would be acting very differently,_" she told me with just the tiniest uplift of her mouth and a miniscule glint in her eyes.

"_How different?_"

"_Spoilers_!"

This was getting frustrating.

"_So obviously I did something and now you are upset._"

"_Maybe_"

"_What if I apologised, would that help?_"

"_Perhaps_"

"_You are being rather elusive today – actually not that out of character,_" I added as a side thought.

And again we were enveloped in silence.

"_So why are you really here?_" she enquired; apparently she wasn't comfortable with the silence either.

"_Spoilers,_" I replied childishly loving how her face scrunched up darkly.

"_Guess I deserved that, huh_"

"_A little_"

Silence. Stupid, thick silence about to suffocate me. Secretive, spoiler silence.

"_I'm sorry,_" I told her even though I had no clue what I had done or hadn't or would.

"_I know_ you _are. But the future you, the older you, what about that doctor! Is he sorry as well?_"

Silence again. Dark, withering silence. Poisonous silence ready to render me unconscious.

"_Do you want me to leave?_" I asked her, expecting her to at last smile and say yes please.

"_No – I mean I want you to stay – it's just, I can't let go – I am rather mad with you, I mean not you – the other you,_" she spoke uneasily, her hands twitching, her eyes sad.

"_River,_" I started and didn't quite know how to continue. That was the trouble with time out of order. It made things so darn interesting and simultaneously complicated. Maybe it was a mistake coming here, deliberately seeking her out. I barely knew her and she knew me too well. What would the future _me_ do, I wondered. I ended up with sitting down next to her and gently trying to give her a hug. I did so with a little hesitance, I didn't know whether she would accept it or not. She leaned into me, her head resting on my shoulder, her nose against the nook of my neck. I slowly exhaled.

And again the room was filled with silence; however it was a silence less heavy, less dark. Just a delicate silence, that still reigned. Fragile. I hugged her a little closer and heard her sigh into my chest.

"_I hate you sometimes,_" she told me in a whisper, her voice betraying her as the words escaped from her lips while she tenderly fingered with the corners of my jacket.

"_Spoilers,_" I whispered softly.

* * *

"_Why is it that you do not travel with me in the Tardis?_" I asked her sometime later, breaking a long silence, both of us slumped on her couch, her body resting warmly against mine. I had been staring at the opposite wall for quite some time, contemplating this wibbly-wobbly companionship.

"_Who says I don't,_" she drowsily half-smiled.

"_You do?_"

"_Spoilers_," she yawned.

"_I'm really beginning to loathe that word. I swear one more_spoiler_out of your mouth and I might just…_" I stopped, letting the sentence end with an ominous silence.

"_Just what?_" her eyes glittered with curiosity and a hidden smile.

"_Spoilers,_" I grinned.

And she laughed as well and it was beautiful. I loved making her smile, loved making her laugh.

* * *

"_I can take you anywhere, any place, any time. You just name it, and I'll take you there,_" I told her later on, breaking another silence, having spent quite an amount of time staring at before-mentioned wall.

"_I know,_" she murmured, half-asleep.

"_I want to take you somewhere,_" I told her, nudging her side gently. She just groaned and softly slapped my hand away.

"_How about ancient Rome? Planet Earth before the birth of man? The far reaches of the solar system? The 73rd__century?... Ah – the home of the Judoon, how about that?_"

"_Thought Judoon was from the Shadow Proclamation?_" she half-yawned.

"_They were born on an altogether different planet, different galaxy. It's been abandoned due to, err, mysterious happenings,_" I told her and looked closely at her face, seeing her mouth quivering with a smile and her eyes slightly opening to look at me.

"_Mysterious happenings?_"

"_It's a myth. Something lurks in the dark, they say, hiding in the shadows from the twin suns. Something that drove away a whole raze of Judoon, something which have made the planet and nearby planets desolate for the last two centuries._"

I looked at her, she looked at me.

"_No one knows what happened? Not even the Judoon?_" she asked the sleepiness gone from her voice, replaced with the sweet tune of excitement.

"_No. The few expeditions to the planet have all gone missing, never to be seen or heard from again,_" I whispered, my own voice alike tinged with exhilaration.

"_Sounds dangerous,_" she mumbled.

"_Sounds like adventure,_" I stated and both of us fell into silence again. Not the oppressive, terrifying silence, but a somewhat comfortable silence that seemed to echo with something thrilling, something good.

* * *

I must have been staring at the wall again for quite some time, lost in a daze, because I suddenly came to and found two pair of blue eyes studying me carefully. She gave me a secretive smile when she noticed I was again focused.

"_Let's go, Pretty Boy_" was all she told me, her voice full and soft.

"_Go where,_" I asked, my mind not catching up.

"_The lost planet of the Judoon_" she announced as she held up her beloved shovel, thrusting it under my nose.

I jumped up and enclosed River and the damn shovel in a swift hug before I grasped her hand firmly in mine and strode out of her room, a bounce in my steps. I looked to my side, and noticed her smiling from ear to ear as well. We ran all the way to the Tardis humming the tunes to an old classic.

* * *

"_Memeind e gen vej ei gneed o kome wit ju,_" River garbled, her voice muted by the dense filmy cloth of material that were keeping us apart in the cocoon we were presently wrapped up in.

"_What?_"

"_I said,_ _Remind me again why I agreed to come with you,"_she said again this time clearly and unobstructed; she had found a small crack in the cocoon. I struggled a bit and managed to push myself farther up so I could speak through the fracture as well.

"_Remind me again who wanted to trail off into the forest where all the screaming was coming from?_" I counteracted.

"_At the very least I didn't try to reason with the Mangen-te-zsp-what's-its-name!_"

"_At the very least I can enunciate the Mnanghent!hez=s#pease!_"

"_A fat lot of good that did you!_"

"_Personally I think it was offended by your grotesque pronunciation of its family name!_"

"_I thought it was your pretty alien look he took offence to!_"

We were silent for a while. I could hear her breathing next to me; I could even slightly feel where the cocoon between us bulged out where her body was imprisoned. I tried to stretch my legs, but the cocoon wouldn't budge. I could feel an itch on the tip of my nose and tried to scratch it on the interior of the cocoon.

"_River?_"

"_Mmm_"

"_You wouldn't by any chance have a teleporter with you?_"

"_Weell of course I have – I have just been loooving being cocooned so much I forgot I had a device that could magically transport me to safety,_" she sardonically retorted. River tended to resort to sarcasm when she was under pressure I had noticed. I let it slip and again we were silent. If I concentrated I could hear small sounds coming from the outside – sounds of the night in an alien forest. I figured we were hanging in our cocoon from a branch of a tree; like a dangling snack. I took a sharp intake of breath as I began imagining how the Mnanghent!hez=s#pease would devour us.

"_Doctor?_"

"_Mmm_"

"_You wouldn't by any chance have a chainsaw in those gigantic time-lord pockets of yours, now would you?_"

"_Weeelll,_" I started and we both burst out laughing and I could feel the cocoon swinging from side to side concurrently with our laughing.

* * *

River was sleeping – safe and sound again, back in the Tardis. I reached out and tenderly brushed away a stray lock of hair from her face. I stood and watched the rise and fall of her chest. She looked tranquil and at peace – and I felt enclosed in sweet serenity from merely watching her. For the time being.


	5. Chapter 5: Valhalla and Beyond

**Run darling, run**

**Chapter 5: Valhalla and beyond**

_Sometimes we are brilliantly close; his eyes smiling wonderfully at me, a secretive glint with the promise of much more as he prattles nonsense techno babble, enthusiastically educating me. I love those times. At other times he seems distant, on the edge of one jagged peak and I'm thousands of leagues away on my own very lonely peak. In between he's polite and hesitant, friendly and charming but with walls. Hell – sometimes he's even muddy angry, ridiculous offended and miffed. It doesn't matter – he's my doctor no matter what mood he's in._

_- Diary of River Song_

I had watched her sleep for quite a while now. The soft hum of the Tardis had lulled her into a soft slumber, and I stood transfixed. My mind was yet again in turmoil, a kettle with boiling water ready to explode any minute now. Sometimes I think it's all been doomed from the start; the epicentre of disaster lying back in the Library cloaked in mysteries and paradoxes.

_One day I'm going to be someone you'll trust – completely._

I wonder who she is constantly – even though I know. I want to love her, but I'm not sure I can. I'm not sure it'll work – it won't. It would've been better had she never met me and yet I cannot help feeling calm and happy when I'm around her. Our whole relationship is an abundance of ambivalence, caught in the paradoxes of time travelling and the web of our dissimilarities. She's right next to me, an arm reach away, tangible – yet she seems lost to me at the same time. I watched her die. I want to save her, for real.

She stirred slightly and I'm roused from my daze. I should be tired as well after all our adventuring, but I'm wide awake. We have been travelling for a little over four months now and it's been amazing. I had picked up a young River who was very tired of school, and we both agreed a vacation was in order. We have met new life forms, saved a civilisation or two, liberated the world from hostile aliens, restored the history of the universe and tasted various forms of coffee. And I knew exactly where our voyage was destined to next. Someplace special, someplace I had to take her. I promised her after all.

_Not those times. Not one line. Don't you dare! It's OK. It's OK. It's not over for you. You'll see me again. You've got all of that to come. You and me, time and space. You watch us run_.

* * *

"_It's beautiful,_" she whispered softly in my ear as she leaned slightly towards me. I silently agreed, squeezed her arm gently and sat down on the blanket I had brought with me. She sat down next to me, her eyes dazed with wonder and awe. I looked out at the landscape before us, the rolling planes and the distant mountains shimmering in the sunlight.

"_It's a sacred place,_" I started to explain to her, my voice soft as I looked beyond, "_dedicated to Gods of Legends._" I paused. The wind was blowing lightly across my face, bringing along odours of summer and the salty tang of water.

"_Asgard,_" I whispered with admiration in my voice as I watched butterflies glinting in the sun like gems.

River continued to gaze at nature, her posture relaxed and at ease as she lightly fiddled strands of red grass with her fingers.

"_Just across the rainbow galaxy Bifrost and there is Asgard; realm of Legends and Gods. Within lies Valhalla_"

"_It's really beautiful,_" River repeated her voice still mesmerized. I couldn't blame her; Asgard was truly a gem of nature. I could already feel peace transcend me, gently lulling me into the pretense of everlasting tranquillity. I could feel the Tardis buzzing leisurely nearby, content with the destination. I almost hummed along but at the very moment something caught my attention, sparkling in the red grass. I bent forwards; watching as my shadow fell over what appeared to be a golden locket. I barely registered this before I felt something heavy against the back of my head and I crumpled to the ground, darkness swiftly enclosing in on me. Slipping into unconsciousness, I was sure I heard River screaming my name but before I could process that though it became dark.

* * *

When I came to I was lying face down in the red grass, my head smarting agonizingly as I tried to move. I groaned and grabbed my head in a strong hold trying to compress the pain away. I managed to sit up, feeling disoriented and dizzy. My vision swam nauseously in front of my eyes and I distinctly felt I was forgetting something. Something important. I let go of my head. As I slowly began to become aware of my surroundings, I was surprised to find the sky cast in a dark hue of grey, menacing clouds forming rapidly in the horizon and thunder graciously accompanying the storm. I blinked and tried to clear my head of confusion. What was going on? The last thing I remembered was the golden locket, the brilliant red grass glittering, beckoning me to come closer. Maybe River knew what had happened…

…

Where was she now!

I looked to my left, looked to my right. I peered back over my shoulder, closely examined the forest lying some yards ahead. Where had she wandered off to! She was right beside me before I blacked out, she was…

…

She knew rule number one – never wander off!

...

They always wander off!

...

But the it all came back, her screams ringing in my head.

River!

Someone had taken her.

I jumped to my feet in a panic, feeling queasiness assaulting my senses as I wobbled slightly. I pushed it aside and strode from one place to another in a mad dash, anxiously trying to determine which way to search for her. I nearly cried as I realised I had not the slightest clue in which direction she had been taken. This was insane! Asgard was supposed to be beautiful and safe. It was supposed to be a harmless place where we for just a little time did not have to worry about danger, where I did not have to worry about all the harm that could befall her.

"_River,_" I screamed in desperation. I did not really expect anyone to answer my outburst, and consequently was quite surprised when a voice spoke loudly from the within the forest.

"_Din ven er ikke her længere. De tog hende til Udgaard._"

To say I was mystified was a vast understatement – not only did the Tardis not translate but I hadn't the slightest inkling myself in regards with translating.

"_Umm,"_ I started to say but the voice interrupted me, and I stood transfixed as a shadow slowly materialized coming out from the dark of the forest.

"_Du forstår ikke hvad jeg siger, goer du?_"

There was a pregnant pause where we both stared at each other shamelessly.

"_Well, this is a first! … Nice to meet you, I'm the doctor_," I introduced myself, still befuddled about the language glitch. I offered my hand to the creature, trying not to stare too obviously. I pointed at myself again while I said "_Doctor_".

It shook my hand, and I figured that as it spoke next, it was telling me its name as well:

"_Sigurd,_" the creature said as it, probably a he, pointed at its – I mean _his_ chest.

"_Well, hello there Sigurd,_" I enthusiastically greeted him, "_Now, where did you say they took River?"_I asked, pointing first to the west. Sigurd shook his head and pointed in the opposite direction, which was in a direct line with the dark, ominous forest. Perfect! I started walking and found to my surprise that Sigurd followed me.

Udgaard, udgaard, udgaard! I repeated in my head, trying to pin-point where I had heard that name before. Sigurd was quite the happy thing, humming as we strode through the forest, occasionally he would stop and sniff at the trunk of a particular tree. He grinned at me when he would sniff, and then pointed in the direction that he seemed to have sniffed us to. I discreetly tried to sniff too once in a while but could not discern anything other than what smelled like a natural forest; wet leaves and moss mixed with a distinctly smell of wood.

"_So, Sigurd,"_ I started conversationally, "_are you from Valhalla?_"

Sigurd seemed to find this exceedingly amusing judging from the loud guffaws of laughter.

I gave him an awkward grin with a shrug of my shoulder.

"_Udgaard,_" I tried "_now, what exactly is that?_"

He just gave me a suspicious smile that seemed to suggest that I did not want to know.

I sighed – this was turning out to be a rather strenuous and difficult trip.

* * *

2 hours, 17 minutes and 10 seconds later and we were still surrounded by a vast, dark forest. The only difference being the terrain which had gone from flat and ripe with plants to rolling boulders and sparse vegetation among the rocks. Sigurd and I had managed to communicate so successfully that I now knew that a certain flower that was stuck in my hair, lodged behind my ear, was called an '_aebleblomst_'. It looked suspiciously like apple blossom. I wondered whether Sigurd would have me adorned in a wide range of flora before we reached our destination.

"_Sigurd?_"

"_Doktor,_" Sigurd smiled, he seemed to find it immensely bemusing to repeat my name when I said his.

"_Sigurd?_"

"_Doktor_."

This insane reiteration hell is mainly what has kept us tracking and climbing for the last hour.

I smiled, and getting a curious idea, tried something else.

"_Udgaard_?"

Sigurd caught on quite quickly – he is rather intelligent, and replied with a "_Jaetter!_"

"_Jaetter_?"

Sigurd lifted his arms in response, making the silhouette of something big, something giant. And it was then I remembered. I remembered and I wished I had not.

Udgaard also known as Jötunheim – world of Giants.

I groaned, which Sigurd found hilarious.

* * *

Running. Now why is it that I always seem to be doing nothing but running; running towards adventure, running away from disaster and danger! Sigurd and I were running through the forest while occasionally the ground would shake like an earthquake and we would stumble to the ground. We were quickly up and running again, a necessary imperative, unless we wanted to be dessert for the angry Giant chasing us. The earth shook again and I could swear I heard it groan with the shock of it. Bloody fantastic I sarcastically imitated Rivers voice in my head. Sigurd and I had arrived at what appeared to be a camp of Giants and unfortunately before we could investigate further we had been found out. And consequently we were being chased through the thick dense forest, our hunter not very far behind. The ground trembled again and this time I fell to the ground hitting my head on a rock. I barely succeeded in a full blown curse before my world was once again enveloped in black.

* * *

I awoke to the gently touch of small fingers combing through my hair and a voice that sounded incredibly like Rivers. I must have hit my head harder this time around, obviously I was hallucinating. I tried to open my eyes and I could make out a blur of colours that seemed to ascend into the sky. The fingers stopped caressing me and I was about to give away my dissatisfaction with this when I a freezing waterfall of water cascaded down upon me and I was left spluttering.

"_Thank you__Vafþrúðnir,_" the voice of River said.

I jumped up, spinning around, taking in the sight of the blur of colors materializing into the forms of Giants who all seemed to be staring at me. I made a 180 degrees spin and in the end my eyes came to rest upon a sitting River and Sigurd who were eying me with interest.

"_Wh-what?_" I had meant to use my wide knowledge of languages and vocabulary to form a very intelligent question that would sum up all I was missing in this obvious confusing hostage situation, but my brain was not coordinating with my body.

River and Sigurd laughed and gave each other a pointed look I did not really care much for.

One of the Giants – possible Vafþrúðnir since it, I mean he, stood with an enormous basin of water made out of wood – grumbled. I nearly jumped out of my skin and inched closer to River and Sigurd, who was too much at ease.

"_Doctor calm down,_" River told me as she stood up and walked up to me, "_You hit your head on a rock when__Vafþrúðnir__tried to bring you here._"

"_You mean when__Vafþrúðnir__tried to kidnap me!_" I corrected her, while accusingly glancing sideways at alleged Giant.

"_No,__Vafþrúðnir__would never do that!_" River exclaimed, spinning around to give the Giant an enormous smile.

"_Well, obviously along with kidnapping I can press charges of brainwashing as well,"_ I stated dryly which earned me a scowl from River and remarkably a dark look from Sigurd. I felt ganged up upon!

"_Vafþrúðnir__thought you were the one who had kidnapped me, doctor, and then he rescued me,_" River explained as she gave the Giant another sickly smile.

"_That's absurd River! How can he rescue you when you were obviously not in any need of rescuing?_"

River just laughed it up, her blue eyes staring kindly at the enormous git while I got narrowed eyes.

This was absurd and stupid. I was a big bundle of ambivalence at the moment, and felt I might explode with all the emotion any time. Relief flooded me at having found River apparently unharmed and safe while simultaneously I was being bombarded with this strange feeling of perturbation that was on the edge of becoming something akin to anger. I could feel it blossoming in my chest, constricting airways and mind alike. I shouldn't be feeling angry, I really shouldn't. There was no reason for me to be feeling… I watched as River strode among the Giants, her eyes glinting with mirth and my anger went away like a puff of air leaving my lungs. And I was left with this numb sensation running across my body like a blanket of rain.

I sat down on the grass, and just watched her.

* * *

"_Is something the matter?_" River asked me later, having joined me on the grass. We were lying next to each other, staring at the darkened sky and the glittering stars. I could faintly feel the warmth of her skin but did not dare turn my head and look at her.

"_No,_" I replied monotonously.

"_You've been awfully quiet,_" she stated.

"_And you've been awfully exuberant,_" I retorted and she fell silent.

Watching the stars glinting in the distance, I tried to ignore her. It turned out to be impossible, her even breaths sounded too loud and I even imagined I could feel her eyes boring into the side of my head.

"_I think__Vafþrúðnir__and the others are a bit insulted by your sulking,_" she told me a bit later, her voice was soft and warm despite the words.

"_Time Lords do not sulk!"_ I exclaimed and gave her a sharp look. That's when I noticed she was smiling at me, her eyes full of blue mischief.

"_Gotcha,_" she teased and gently touched her finger against my nose, "_that's quite a wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey pout you've got going there, sweetie!_"

I rolled my eyes at her, but she was relentless. She took my face into her hands, holding it still as she looked me into my eyes.

"_Doctor,_" she started seriously, "_thank you for attempting to rescue me. That was very valiant of you._" I started to interrupt her but she shushed me and continued, the corners of her mouth curving slightly. "_Now stop moping about and go apologise to the Giants!_"

"_Wh-hat!_"

She grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet rapidly. Before I could stop her or protest, she'd pushed me towards the little campfire where a circle of Giants were sitting, their backs to us. I looked back at her, but she just crossed her arms and stared me down.

I gave a salute and marched over to the campfire, my mood improving with every step.

* * *

"_You're impossible!_"

"_You're obnoxious!_"

"_You're arrogant!_"

"_You're insufferable!_"

We were last back in the Tardis, glaring amusedly at each other across the panel. River stuck her tongue out at me, and I rolled my eyes.

"_You're childish!"_ I continued happily.

River laughed; "_Well no more than you, Pretty Boy_"


	6. Chapter 6: Special

**Run darling, run**

**Chapter 6: Special**

_He's a Doctor of practical everything, a Lord of Time, a Man of the Universe. He's brilliant, shrewd, innovative and a rather knowledgeable historian. He's time itself, roaming around the past, running in the present and strolling the future; flying through our universe, an enthusiasts out exploring the wonderful world. And what am I? – Simple human being with a short life span and archaeologist; a bright little light in all the time of the universe. How can we both be equals and incompatible?_

_- Diary of River Song_

"_Do you ever get lonely?_" River asked me, her face serious and very close as she studied my face.

"_What!_" I exclaimed, not believing she choose now of all times to start discussing emotions. I gave her a frown which she deliberately ignored, as she always does.

"Do_you ever get lonely?_" she asked me again, her voice brooking no argument.

"_River!_" I sighed exasperatedly.

"_It's a simple question,_" she retorted.

I rolled my eyes at her, enjoying the way which her eyes narrowed and seemed to be trying to set me on fire.

"_You are not going to make me spontaneously combust just by mere thought,_" I laughed, and continued with what I had been doing before she'd interrupted me; which was trying to free myself from the imprisonment of heavy, cold chains. I sighed – no matter which way I wriggled I was tightly secured to a dirty icy wall of stone. River gave me a scathing look; she was trapped next to me.

"_I can try,_" she spoke, her voice dark and annoyed.

"_Wouldn't work, I would just regenerate,_" I quipped.

She sent me another dark look.

* * *

"_I get lonely sometimes,_" River stated later on, the light in our cell diminishing with the receding sunlight from the small window in the opposite corner. I watched as shadows played gently across her pale face, her eyes turning a dark sapphire and indecipherable. Her voice however sounded wistful and distant. I wanted to reach out and embrace her but the restraints of my chains and my own silly boundaries made that an impossible feat.

"_We are all alone in the universe when it comes down to it_," I tried to convey some comfort into my voice and answer but again I failed, ending up with cynical and distant.

"_Aren't you the optimistic one,_" River countered as she turned to face me. Shadows stretched and elongated across the contours of her white skin and clouded her eyes in further darkness. I wondered whether I was just as cloaked in the absence of light as she was - If I looked just as ominous as her.

"_Just stating the facts_," I replied darkly, once again tugging at the chains.

"_So then you do get lonely!_" River cried triumphantly, her voice slightly warmer as small bubbles of laughter erupted now and again. She stared defiantly at me, watching me with what I imagined to be mirthful eyes.

"_I never said-_" I stared to argue.

"_You just told me everyone is essentially alone!_" she stated, a dark eyebrow arched.

"_They are!_"

There was a slight silence, an intermit where we glared at each other; River shifted further around, her full body facing me.

"_And what you are saying, is that you do not belong in this category with the rest of us?_" Her voice had become soft yet there was a detection of intensity in her voice for me to trace.

I answered her, my voice unwavering and detached; "_Technically and theoretically no – I belong in an all together different system of existence_".

River gave a prickly laugh and continued; "_A superior existence compared to the rest of us poor blunderheads, you mean!_"

I tried to explain; "_Superior does not necessarily equal a better existence. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss._"

"_I'll give you_bliss_! In your case superior equals self-absorbed, narcissistic, time controlling pessimist with a mighty God complex!_" River roared, her voice sounding suddenly loud in the small dark cell as it reverberated off the walls and intensified in volume.

I laughed bitterly, looking into the darkness and seeing something which lay beyond.

"_Once we were Gods,_" I softly whispered.

"_And now?"_ she quietly asked me, her ferociousness having died and been replaced with something I couldn't quite place. It could be inquisitive concern, I thought. Or maybe she had lowered her voice in case our captors should return.

"_Now there's only me. One last little flame of existence in the vastness of time and space,_" I sounded resigned and I felt empty and numb all of a sudden. I could almost feel tendrils of shadows surging toward me, enclosing me with and in darkness.

Neither River said anything nor did I feel inclined to speak more of my dreadful mood. The silence settled tentatively in the cell, surrounding the both of us in its desolateness and quiet.

She broke the silence sometime later when her clothes rustled and I felt her gently lean towards me and rest her head upon my shoulders. I embraced the gesture with further silence and darkness. But internally I was glad. Maybe I would tell her, sometime.

* * *

"_We are going to rot in here for the next hundreds centuries, aren't we_," River huffed, her voice suddenly angry. It was not directed at me but rather at the darkness we were shrouded in. I did not answer her but she continued nonetheless;

"_We are going to die in this god-forsaken place!_"

I did not feel inclined to answer as I found it rather self-explanatory. We were rather stuck – hell, I had no clue as what to do! So I sat in silence, trying to contemplate us a way out of our predicament.

"_Doctor?_"

…

"_Doctor!_"

"_What!_" I sharply turned my head back to look at her. She seemed indignant.

"_Aren't you going to tell me everything will be fine!_" she accusingly asked me, as she tried to tuck strands of hair behind her ears while giving me dark looks.

"_Why?_"

"_Because!_"

"_That's not a reason!_"

"_You are an absolute asshole sometimes, you know_"

"_Yes_, _I've been told on several occasions_"

"_So you've given up, is that it?_"

I shook my head and went back to staring into darkness. Silence once again occupied the cell, every now and then broken by River who mumbled unintelligently.

"_Doctor?_" she asked me some time later, her voice shaking slightly. I sighed.

…

"_Doctor!_" she cried.

"_What now!_" I turned around to look at her, quite annoyed with all the interruptions. I could barely see her, but I could detect her body shaking and identify the fear lacing her voice as she spoke again:

"_I don't feel so good, I – I-_"

She suddenly stopped speaking and I felt a chill run through the air as I heard the clink of her chains hitting the ground. Horror swept through me as I my hand grasped thin air where River should have been. She was gone! She had disappeared – just disappeared with no reason.

"_River_," I shouted, feeling my earlier despair lift and be replaced with something worse.

"_Where is she?_" I screamed. No one answered.

* * *

I shouldn't have been so nonchalant about our imprisonment. I shouldn't have been so ridiculously useless and cruel. I should have told her everything was going to be fine.

* * *

For the first time in a very long time I had no conscious concept of time. All I could relate to was the darkness and it had no link to time at all. On Earth I could have counted the days by the sunlight that would stream through the little window every time the sun would ascend. But I was not on Earth. This planet had one, very far away distant sun. If I was slightly fortunate perhaps I would see sunlight in a year, all depending on how away that sun was.

* * *

At first I thought I had gone insane. I had finally gone off the deep end and was now hallucinating. But the voice persisted till I was sure it was not a figment of my mania. Something was clinking and rustling in the farthest corner of the cell, close to where I had surmised the door would be. I was sure of it. I held my breath and tried to listen carefully.

For a while there was nothing.

But then I heard it again – something was tinkering with the lock. I was just about to give out a shout when the calm voice of River reached me from beyond the darkness of the cell;

"_Doctor, it's me_."

Further rustling and then suddenly the hinges were shrieking and I could hear the door break open. But darkness still surrounded us.

"_River?_"

"_Doctor, where are you?_"

"_Here,_"

I felt her clasp my out stretched hand, her warm beautiful fingers gripping me in a death hold.

"_Are you alright?_" she asked me, as she started clinking again with my chains, magically unlocking them.

"_Peachy!_" I dryly commented and immediately contradicted my voice as I enveloped her in a bear hug, bringing her closer, pressing her against me.

"_How_-" I started but River interrupted me.

"_Everything's black doctor,_" she said, her mouth close to me ear, "_and quiet. I have no idea what-_"

"_River_," I interrupted her this time.

"_Yee-_" she started to reply but I covered her mouth with my lips before she could utter another word. It was gentle and short and I could feel her breath coming to a halt. I imagined I could hear her heartbeat thudding louder in the dark and I imagined I could feel the warmth emanating from her body enveloping me but even though that was all in my own head, I knew for a fact that she was wide-eyed and delightfully shocked.

"_You're brilliant! You are bloody brilliant River,_" I told her softly as my lips brushed against hers again. I laughed and before she could say anything, or slap me, I bolted out of the cell with her hand clasped securely in mine.

For a second or so, she tagged along silently. But in the end she started laughing too and somehow it was not so dark anymore.

* * *

"_So you ended up in the middle of the control room of their ship, ready for departure!"_

"_Yes"_

"_And then you incapacitated the Mighty M'haliens with a stun gun, that was incidentally nearby, re-directed the power of the super-conducive-engine, reverted the electricity to run in a backwards flow to stabilise the M-theradium and released the power into the core of the planet so you could halt their ship in a time-lock!"_

"_Yes!"_

"_You found the right prison cell among the hundreds upon hundreds in the many caves on this damn prison planet, used your hairpins to unlock the door and free me!"_

"_Yup!"_

"_And how come the Mighty M'haliens transported you onto their ship again?"_

"_Beats me"_

We both laughed, and started pushing controls buttons on the Tardis.

"_Brilliant, River simply brilliant,_" I beamed at her as I continued, "_Although, I myself would have used the defrili-equalizer, overriding the explosive feature of M-theradium and thus simply locking the entire momentum of the ship and its occupants in a bubble of-"_

"_Doctor!"_River cried exasperatedly as she gave me a gentle shove, "_stop stealing my thunder!_"

She stared mock-indignantly at me, and I tried my hardest not to laugh.

However, we both ended up on the floor, our bodies shaking with laughter in the end.

* * *

_There you go. Btw, haven't seen End of Time Yet - so not compliant with that :)_

_/Isolith_


	7. Chapter 7: Disturbia

**Run darling, run**

**Chapter 7: Disturbia**

_Worlds of plenty, ample good times and travelling with someone you love – what a wonderful life. But the nightmares lurk and sometimes they blend in and you forget. Other times they are terrors ruining your night, imprints in your mind never to be forgotten but lingering beneath the surface, always there. Occasionally they will surface to remind you, and despair envelopes you; despair, pain and horror. Sometimes it's impossible to sleep – for both of us._

_- Diary of River Song_

"_Hello, _I'm _the doctor,_" I announced to the group of diggers that met me as I stepped out of the Tardis, taking in the sight of upturned earth.

"_Now, what have we got here?_"

They all stood closely together, their arms protectively crossed and shovels ready to inflict bodily damage should I turn out to be someone hostile. In the distance the light from the multiple moons glimmered in the sand and cast outlines of the ruins of a forgotten city, the towering spires and domes reaching high into the night half-buried in the dark, glittery sand. I watched the shadow of the group strengthen as a woman walked out and came to stand before me, her face resolute and determined.

"_Who are you?_"

"_Doctor Smith, Doctor John Smith,_" I replied smugly, giving her an insolate grin.

"_And how did you get past the quarantine procedures and the block?_" she asked, her hands coming to rest at her waist, eyeing me with interest.

"_Got my pass right here,_" I replied and fished out my psychic paper which displayed an identity card confirming I was here to help with the uncovering.

"_Funny machine you've got there, Doctor Smith,_" River replied brusquely and then turned around and started shouting in a rough voice for her team to get their certain assets in gear. I smiled, loving how they all jumped high as she roared.

It was a game we sometime played, pretending we did not know each other when we met. Pretending to be complete strangers and meeting for the first time. I grinned inwardly and followed River as she walked quickly through the sand while introducing her team;

"_Miss Joane, communication. Joane meet Doctor Smith, medical doctor sent from dispatch apparently,_" River lied blankly; the only tell was the tiny glint in her eyes and I was the only one who noticed.

I nodded to Joane who eyed me briefly before going back to her computers and other communicative devices.

"_And this here is Gram, senior archaeologist, Morrissey, student archaeologist, Lynch, security officer -_" the list went on as we moved through the people, all of them eyeing me with interest mingled with suspicion.

"_We lost radio contact five days ago,_" River started to explain after having introduced me to her team, "_and sent a distress call to dispatch and central. And they sent only you?_"

"_Well, the planet is under quarantine after all. They couldn't risk too many, or too much the first time. So they sent me,_" I lied as well giving River a secret smile. I had been on the way to the Garboxy alignment when I had received a message on my psychic paper;

_The desert of Labesh_

_Hurry_

_x_

I smiled at River, "_So, what seems to be the trouble?_"

Everyone stopped breathing, stood still as they watched River and me. They suddenly seemed frightened.

"_There's something lurking underground, in the ruins. It dismembered David the pilot,_" River told me quietly as she shuddered visibly.

* * *

"_Why are we pretending,_" I asked her later on as we sat inside a big circular tent, the others standing slightly out of hearing range.

"_There's been another surge in Time Agent paranoia,_" River whispered and then loudly told me in a certain voice, "_I don't know Doctor Smith, the body hasn't been autopsied_"

"_Where do you keep the body,"_ I asked and then whispered, "_I'm not a Time Agent_!"

"_In the cooler,_" River told me and then murmured, her lips barely moving, "_Time Agent, Time Lord – the bloody imbeciles won't know the difference. I'll prefer not to have you chased out of the camp, or bloody murdered!_"

"_Shall we go have a look at the body – I am after all a doctor,_" I told her with a smile and she spun around, yet again for me to follow. When we were outside the big tent and walking toward the cooler, I lightly touched her arm,

"_They will chase you as well then, if they find out_"

"_Good thing I brought my running shoes with me, isn't it,_" River half-joked, but looked over her shoulder as we rounded small sleeping cabins.

"_What about the Tardis; that must have triggered someone's suspicion. Doctors usually do not travel in Police Boxes, you know._"

"_I know,_" she mumbled as she stopped outside a large white semi-bubble of a structure.

"_This is the cooler?_" I asked her.

"_Yes, we use it mainly to store food and fossils. And now we have a gory corpse as well. Really scrumptious,_" River spoke sadness laced through her dark humour as she punched in a code and the doors opened up, hitting us with a blast of coolness.

"_Nothing like a little gore to get you going, huh,_" I deadpanned as we stepped inside and went through another metallic door.

* * *

"_Strange_," I remarked upon my examination of the remains of one Dave the pilot. Not that the remains offered much to be speculated upon – it was truly a wicked assembly of bones, meat and blood with no real recognisable parts pertaining to the human species. River stood beside me a dark frown upon her face as she likewise looked at the body of her pilot.

"_What's strange?_" she half whispered, her voice carrying the hint of worry.

"_There's something missing here,_" I replied still unsure of what exactly was missing from the remains.

River sighed exasperatedly, "_Of course there's something missing – I'd daresay approximately one half of the body!_"

I ignored her outburst and focused on the grotesque body parts again. I could feel Rivers annoyance radiating in strong waves as she silently scowled at me.

And then I saw it. And I felt my insides squirm upon this horrible discovery, felt my breath stop.

"_His internal organs are all gone – every bloody organ_"

* * *

"_Get the Time Agent,_" the mob roared as I ran through the desert, River slightly ahead of me, her red hair flapping in the air, the fading light illuminating the crimson strands. I could hear the frenzy horde of people behind us, their panting, heavy breaths lined with paranoia and anger from discovering supposed time agents in their midst. That I had tried to logically explain to them that I was most certainly not a time agent had somehow only increased their frenzy and innermost wish to see me, and River for association, dead.

"_They're getting' away,_" someone, possible the Lynch, yelled, voice high-pitched. By sheer luck we were outrunning them.

"_Faster,_" I yelled to River just as I was about to overtake her. But somehow my words got lost when we both felt the ground beneath us crumple, the sand sliding away and sending us in a downward spiral of falling sand and darkness. In panic I tried to grasp onto Rivers hand but she eluded me and I fell with a heavy thumb onto a jagged ground, the air leaving my lungs and momentarily losing my consciousness. When I came to, another nightmare was unraveling far beneath the desert Labesh, in ancient dark caves.

* * *

"_RIVER_," I yelled at the top of my voice, horror bitter as bile rising through my body, my fingers trembling, legs shaking and my mind going wild.

"_RIIIEVEEHR,_" I screamed again, my voice breaking and a small moan escaping. I felt my body go limp, the coldness seeping in, legs giving in as I slumped down on the ground.

"_River,_" I whispered hollowly as I watched.

She lay motionless on the ground, a hundred meters from me, her eyes open and staring at me, unblinking and blank.

"_Please,_" I pleaded with the shadow standing above me, "_Please, not her… take me instead,_" I begged, sweat travelling down my spine, lips unsteadily beseeching time to go backwards. "_Pleease!_"

The shadow laughed loudly, holding out its hands and giving me a pet on my cheek. I looked to River again, her limps lying in a distorted fashion and red trails of blood painting grotesque patterns down her pale face and neck, pooling on the ground. I tried to move but was jolted back to the ground by the force of electricity. I groaned and tried to stand again without success. The mad laughter continued to ring in the cavern, echoing off the walls and descending into my mind.

"_RIVER,_" I tried again, my voice hoarse.

The laughter was unrelenting and persistent. It was in my head now throbbing with pain, searing, and white-hot pain erupting in invisible flames across my body. I went still then, lying on the floor, unmoving as well. My eyes aligned with hers and I stopped breathing as well. I welcomed the dark, embracing and enveloping myself in it. Spots and specs of nothingness spun in front of my eyes, my vision swimming in it.

* * *

_Introducing !Evil cliffhanger! Sorry for the long wait._

_/Iso_


	8. Chapter 8: Disturbia part 2

**Run darling, run**

**Chapter 8: Disturbia part 2**

_He wants to show me the immense wondrous universe and its many wonders. At the same time he wants to protect me from its numerous horrors as well. Unfortunately one can't have both. He's lost so much; and sometimes however much he tries he cannot save everyone. It pains him deeply, wounds him to the core. He's the light – but wherever he roams darkness follows in his footsteps, darkness in him, shadows trailing him, dusk awaiting him. _

_- Diary of River Song_

_

* * *

_

_The laughter was unrelenting and persistent. It was in my head now throbbing with pain, searing, and white-hot pain erupting in invisible flames across my body. I went still then, lying on the floor, unmoving as well. My eyes aligned with hers and I stopped breathing as well. I welcomed the dark, embracing and enveloping myself in it. Spots and specs of nothingness spun in front of my eyes, my vision swimming in it... ..._

... ... Eventually my crying evened out into a low hiccough but my chest still felt constricted. I was exhausted beyond belief, the feeling of heavy stones weighing me down haunting me.

"_This is not happening,_" I whispered in a voice that did not belong to me. It sounded foreign. I felt foreign and out of place. Maybe I was dying, a voice echoed in my mind and I embraced it. Everything but this madness. She couldn't die. Not here. She was supposed to be a fixed point! I looked up from the ground to the place where she lay. But somehow she was gone. Her crumpled, mangled, bloodied body was gone and I felt another, scarier, horror settle in my body, its tendrils snaking their way into my mind with poison.

"_No,_" I tried to scream but the only sound escaping me was a weak, pitying gravelly whisper. I was going mad, for certain. Breaking apart from the inside… and I did not care one bit.

"_Noo… No… River. Where did you take her, you scum! – RiiiVEHR…N-no... This is not happening!_"

In the end I fainted, blackness enveloping me in a cold embrace. I felt weird and my head was aching. The echo of my screams lingered in the grotesque cave.

* * *

The first thing I noticed was that the ground beneath was soft, tingly cold and smelled suspiciously like grass. When I opened my eyes I had to squint at the bright, fluorescent light that shone all over the place. I jumped up from the ground – which was indeed covered in emerald green grass – and stared around in what could only be described as bewilderment on the brink of insanity. The dark, unfriendly cave was gone and I was standing in the middle of a cubic square of jade grass and then nothing. I spun around 180 degrees and was assaulted by the same vision. I spun back, jumped around on the little square of existence and goggled at the impossible scenario. I cursed out loud in gallifreyan, finding myself truly puzzled… and a tiny bit scared. There was only me, the platform of grass and the white nothingness in all directions, below and above.

"_Doctor,_" someone suddenly cried my name and at first I thought it was a voice in my head, my madness finally breaking free. But it persisted and when I looked over my shoulder I nearly wept with joy. On a identical grass platform further away from my own, a red-haired woman stood her eyes wide with shock. I couldn't contain my wonderment and happiness then and I shouted back in a voice that sounded entirely too shrill for my own ears.

"_River!_"

But somehow the smile I had imagined would birth on her lips never came, instead her eyes became even wider, a scared look in their midst belied only by a sudden angry line around her tight-pressed mouth. She turned her head up, her eyes transforming from a frightened light navy blue to an almost stormy, dark grey.

"_Stop it,_" she raged at nothing, her body turned away from me, "_I know your tricks and I want my doctor._"

"_River,_" I shouted at her, "_I am right here._"

She did not look back at me but kept shouting at something I couldn't see, her angry words becoming more and more frustrated till I could hear an edge of despair in her voice. I walked to the edge of my platform of grass, shouting at her, and still she did not acknowledge me.

"_RIVER SONG_" I bellowed in the end and was quite surprised when she actually turned around and responded.

"_I am sorry,_" she whispered but somehow it sounded loud in my ears, "_but you are not real_."

The words slapped me hard, her sad voice settling under my skin with a strange coldness I felt was devouring my life.

"_Real..._" I whispered as if I never tasted the word before. I looked at her and saw her more clearly than before. Her red-rimmed eyes, the look of desperation in her glassy eyes, the frizzy hair devoid of blood.

"_Of course I'm _real_,_" I cried to her, this time a confused, almost angry edge to my voice. What was wrong with her? What had happened to the River in the cave, the one who was dead and covered in pools of her own blood?

"_You're cruel,_" she yelled back in a half cry as tears started making trails down her cheeks. She turned around and hollered with a raw voice that sent shivers down my spine and made the hair on my back stand up straight; "_You're cruel!_"

"_River?_" I questioned but she continued to cry at the nothingness. Nothing I yelled made any difference and she kept her back to me. I felt lost and beyond despair. I almost wished to be back in the cave. However the image of the dead River haunted me too much and I decided whoever the person on the other grass square was; I was going to figure this out. I took a deep breath, calming myself down. With a calculated glance at the edge of my square and the distance to Rivers, I started sprinting. In mid jump I felt the headache returning. It felt like fire was eating away at my mind and in agony I closed my eyes. I rolled into a ball, and briefly I wondered whether I would hit the ground, if this white nothingness had a floor? In the next moment I landed hard on grass but my head was hurting too much for me to really register that I had managed the jump. Somewhere far away I heard a surprised yelp. I thought I heard grass rustling next to my shoulders but the roar of fire in my ears was too loud. It felt like my head was being compressed by invisible weighs and slowly cracking apart from the sheer pressure. I screamed.

"_Doctor… - Doctor,_" an alarmed voice was yelling somewhere, "_it's really you!_"

Before I could answer, I fainted, once again swathed in blackness, the thundering pain in my head persisting.

* * *

I was standing at the Tardis console and for a moment I wondered what I was doing here. I touched my head tenderly, feeling like something was missing. My head felt strangely numb, a faint echo of aching residing in it – phantom like. I shrugged and went back to typing in coordinates. But I stopped again, staring at the console in confusion. Where was I going anyway? The air felt stale and foreign to me, heavy and oppressive. Was I alone? Funny, but I couldn't remember.

I looked around the Tardis as if I had never seen it before. A small fragment of remembrance came back to me slowly and I remembered the platform of grass and River acting strangely. But where was she now? I spun around, expecting her to materialize in front of me but nothing happened. I sighed. Something was wrong. Something was viciously wrong with the universe.

"_What's 'matter, pretty boy?_" Rivers voice, full of life and amusement, asked me from somewhere to my left. Spinning on my toes, I turned and found her looking at me curiously. Her eyes were a dark azure, specs and flecks of mirthful turquoise and her red lips were stretched in a revealing and playful smile. Red curly hair framed her happy face.

"_River?_" I enquired in a disbelieving voice as I stared at her, my eyes narrowed and my mouth opening and closing.

She laughed, "_You're a funny man_" and strode towards the console, a glimmer of merriment in her step.

This was bad. This was catastrophically bad.

"_River, this is important._" I paused, "_Where are we supposed to be going?_"

The question and possibly the serious tone to my voice stopped her, and she turned her head and gave me startled look. For a moment her eyes turned to a scared light cerulean but almost instantly the merry River returned. It happened so fast that I almost thought the frightened look had been my imagination.

"_Silly you,_" she laughed, "_Are you coming down with the flu?_" She turned back to the console and started rummaging with the control buttons.

"_River! Something is wrong? – Listen, please try to remember. What do you remember?_" I could feel my hearts hammering in my chest, my skin felt clammy and the headache was coming back full force.

"_Remember! – I remember everything_" she told me in a cheerful tone but her eyes had changed again; their depths a dark twirl of dread.

"_Before! Before you were in the Tardis, where were you?_" I begged her.

"_I was…_" she stopped, her words halting and the smile disappearing.

"_You were on a square of grass,_" I told her as I stepped closer, locking my gaze with hers.

"_No. I was- I was_" she stumbled over the words, her lips quivering and her eyes desperately telling me to stop.

"_And before the grass, you were in a cave! Do you remember the cave?_" I took hold of her arms and shook her, my own anxiety and fright taking a hold of my senses.

"_No,_" she whispered in a small voice.

"_Yes – The dark, cold cave where the shadow roamed,_" I leaned closer and held her, my arms enveloping her in my embrace. I tensed and brought her even closer.

"_No, that's not true. You are lying,_" she cried into my shirt and tried to break my embrace but my grip was too strong. I could feel her nails digging into my skin painfully.

"_You were lying on the ground, River … dead…_" the last word was ripped from my chest and came out in a strangled sound. I could feel her shaking and shuddering in my arms. I looked down and caught her gaze. I wished I hadn't. The look of frightened indigo despair was making my stomach turn in twists and knots, nausea travelling upwards.

"_- No…_" she mumbled in an unrecognisable voice and all I could do was to hold her closer.

"_River – you have to remember_" I told her and I felt cruel, her trembling body against me.

"_No, it's not real,_" she cried still trying to break free, "_It's not real!_"

"_River, something's wrong,_" I told her gently, holding her head to my chest and stroking her red curls tenderly.

"_You're not real,_" she told me in a hiccough, "_You never are!_"

"_River, something's messing with our memories, with our perception, with – _" I started to tell her but suddenly the words stopped and I was holding my head instead of River. Pain was jolting through me, the intensity of it impairing. Not again. Please – not again. Through the haze of colours and pain I looked back at River, trying to form words and warn her.

"_D-o-oc-tor,_" she stammered, her tear stained expression painted in stark terror.

The world went black again, my head exploding in a series of colourful bursts and my entire body on painful fire.

* * *

I woke up groggily, my head heavy and my vision blurred. But I was lying on top of something soft, possibly a mattress, and for second I considered going back to the land of the unconscious. However as I closed my eyes something brushed against my shoulder. I bolted upright, swaying and feeling quite delirious but nonetheless I manage to steady myself. Slowly my vision returned and I found that I had indeed been lying on a mattress – quite a large one by the look of it. My feet and arms were tangled in rumpled linen and sheets, my stomach croaked in hunger and I felt slightly dizzy. Except my aching body was pushed to the back of my mind as I stared down at what had touched my elbow; a peaceful sleeping River, her red unruly hair sticking in every direction. What had happened! I couldn't remember where I was, or why I was here! It was all very disconcerting. For a moment I watched the rise and fall of her chest, confusingly fascinated by the movement of her sleeping body. The headache was slowly replaced by an all together different feeling, painful but sweet. And caught up in my entrancement, I likewise began to forget the mysterious circumstances. I felt I was missing an important piece of a puzzle but the lull of watching her overrode any doubt I had.

I leaned closer and gently ran my fingers across the pale skin of her arm, lightly tracing a pattern toward her elbow. However the tranquil did not last long.

River opened her eyes, and upon seeing me she bolted upright and started screaming, quite loudly. It took me by surprise and I accidentally fell off the bed in my shock.

"_Get away from me, you bastard,_" River hissed at me as she darted across the room, standing as far away from me as possible in the small cabin, holding a book in front of her as a weapon as she scowled darkly at me.

"_W-what!_" I spluttered in dismay and disbelief but I did not move from my position on the floor. The look River was sending me quite frankly scared me, and somehow I had a feeling it was best to remain where I was.

"_What did you poison me with! DTS 2?_" she yelled, pointing a finger at me accusingly.

"_I beg your pardon! I haven't drugged you!_"

"_Then why am I lying in your sleazy bed, you rat_"

"_Eerr – I haven't got a clue,_" I told her truthfully and shifted my weight.

"_Come any closer, and I'll push you head up where the sun don't shine_"

"_River! What is the matter with you!_"

"_How do you know my name_!"

"_River – for sanity's sake! It me – the doctor!_"

"_Doctor? You creep!_"

"_W-what!_"

And that's when she started throwing things. I ducked and sought cover behind the bed. Memories came washing through me then; the force of it painful like being dipped in a cold pond – headfirst. I felt overwhelmed. What the bloody hell was going on! I had to calm River down and so I tried to talk some sense into the crazy woman.

"_River – would you please pull yourself together. Something's is wrong and we're in trouble!_"

"_You're the one is trouble, mister!_"

"_Now wait a minute – I haven't touched you! I haven't done a goddamn bloody thing! NOW – stop yelling at me!_"

"_Creep!_"

"_Please try to remember River_"

"_Sod off – you two-timing sleazebag_"

I cringed and ducked further down just in time to avoid a beautiful vase smacking into my head. It shattered on the wall behind me and sent pieces of flying, sharp fragments through the air.

"_River! The cave! The Labesh desert! The grass platform! – You have to remember!_"

My words were followed by silence.

"_Who are you?_" she whispered in strangled voice; fear a heavy undertone in her voice, quivering. I peered over the bed cautiously and found River in a heap on the floor as she hugged herself.

"_I'm dead_," she declared in a low voice devoid of any emotion. It sent chills through the air and I shivered.

"_No... No – it's a trap. __You are alive now, aren't you!_" I tried to soothe her but her eyes had gone blank and she seemed not to hear me.

"_Cold,_" she whispered.

I edged around the bed and carefully crawled closer to her.

"_River, listen to me. It's not real._"

"_I'm cold,_" she said again, her face set in stone.

"_We're still in the cave, River. This,_" he pointed around the cabin, "_and everything else; the grass platform and the Tardis – it's all in our heads – manipulated by the shadow_"

"_I'm dead,_" she repeated as she looked up from the ground, her eyes finding mine above her.

"_No,_" I told her soothingly as I tenderly caught her right hand in mine, "_you are still alive. We both are – for now. Remember Dave the pilot?_"

"_Dave?_" she asked uncertainly, her voice wavering between frozen despair and hazy recollection.

"_Yes._"

"_Dave died_"

"_Yes_"

"_Like me_"

"_No – no – not like you,_" I gripped her other hand and brought them to my chest and looked imploringly into her lifeless gaze. "_The shadow devoured Dave while he was under heavy influence of distorted hallucinations._"

"_The Shadow?_"

"_Yes – in the cave, buried under the twin moons and the hot sands of Labesh._"

"_Dave fell into the cave?_"

"_Yes_"

I watched the blank sheen of dull blue in her eyes rapidly disappearing into a pool of dark fright, her lips trembling, seeing understanding and apprehension dawn in her gaze.

"_We're in the cave now – being eaten alive?_"

"Y_es_"

* * *

I tentatively looked at her in secret, trying to gauge her mood and disposition. And like the last hundred times I had stolen a glance at her, I cringed involuntarily at the sight of the angry gashes and colourful bruises on her pale skin. The sight of her assaulted skin – the red, irritated flesh from the devouring acid of the shadow underground, constricted my airways with strong invisible hands asphyxiating me. My own skin still burned and itched with a dull, unceasing pain but it was nothing next to the painful queasiness that unsettled me every time I looked at her.

"_You're doing it again_," River admonished me, her back turned to me as she started fingering with her little hand-held computer.

"_Sorry,_" I said – although if the sorry was for constantly observing her or for other events, I was not sure.

"_You look awful,_" she told me as she finally turned her head and gave me a small smile. Her look was warm, the blue almost burning a dark green, and it was contagious.

"_So do you,_" I replied and smiled back.

* * *

Yup - The evil shadow-thingy implored the 'evil-drug-induced-hallucination' plot to render the dear Doctor and River collectively unconscious. Time Lords are tricky to eat indeed – they always get away! ;)

Hope you enjoyed (If you're wondering how they got out of the mess - it was deliberately left out and it's up to your imagination) ;)

/ISO


End file.
